We come into this life as an individual, and the fact is
that we remain and are distinctly individual all the time.
No one can think for us, and while we can share and influence, we
cannot do it for another, nor feel we should. Each must find out
what is natural and right and true, in their own way and time,
and to try to save someone from bitter experience (from which they
can and will purify themselves eventually) is to cheat them of
their own ability and freedom.
No one can hurt us, or cause our suffering any more than they can
breathe or eat for us. It is never what the other person does or
says that disturbs us - it is instead what we ourselves think and
feel about what they do or say.
The past is merely what has been thought and not a cause for us
now, for now is what we are now thinking. No one or no thing from
the dead past, even yesterday, can hurt or affect us now unless we
choose to drag it along in memory or try to keep it alive.
What another person chooses to think (and choose he does) to do
even about or to us, is his problem. He is the one that must live
with that thinking and doing. That is not our problem. Our
problem is to keep our own thought right - whether we are
understood or not - if we are using the facts in understanding and
then not feeling hurt or guilt or anger because the other person
disturbs us.
We must separate the mistakes from the individual - and thereby
keep track of the good in him.
How wonderful it would be if individuals would stop to think about
this, and quit blaming each other for early or present
misunderstanding. Very few people want to hurt another, to destroy
their self-esteem or courage because of their opinions - but it
goes on all the time, killing all peace and harmony.
We, as understanders, should be very careful and observant of all
this, and stay busy correcting ourselves - not the other fellow.
We must live and let live, with all our hearts and minds.
Everything, every one, every situation that comes into our
experience has come for a purpose: to teach something to us and
for our benefit. We are in school here. It is all for a purpose, a
good purpose, an individual unfoldment into perfect understanding.
It is all a waste - all this suffering, worrying, fearing and 'bleeding' over these unfolding experiences, where we are finding out who we are. We know we can't find the truth about ourselves and cling to the pain and sorrow of the human experience. The one sure way to fail in unfoldment is to try and please everyone - or want to. Instead we must want to be really right according to the laws of individuality and understanding, and then have the courage and the honesty to live by those laws within ourselves. Let the chips fall where they may, and do it with the right feeling of being honest and not passing the buck to anyone else.
It is wisdom, and note this well, it is wisdom that each
individual must learn to do their own thinking and have the
courage to live their life in whatever way they choose. If they
permit others, wittingly or unwittingly, to do their thinking - make
their decisions, make them feel guilty or inferior - they
will have to learn their mistake through suffering, for they have
forfeited their divine right of choice and will. But certain it
is that sometime, somewhere, they will awaken to their natural
rights and begin to think for themselves - here or hereafter.
Naturally, we don't want others to learn the hard way, the
suffering way, but if they are taking that route, then we can and
must see what is really taking place instead of viewing it as
humans view it.
Do you see? Certain it is that when they suffer enough, they will
drop it off or change, and not until they learn can we do anything
about it.
Unselfish love means understanding each other's rights - living
and letting live. No "do this" or "don't do
that", no passing judgment on the other's actions, no offenses taken
or given; rather a hearty appreciation of what all of us face, and the
awareness that each has a right to their own likes and preferences
and ways and are not wrong merely because they differ from each
other.
We must enjoy each other and never lose track of the good in
others, even when confronting with their mistakes. This is real
love.
"But let there spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of heaven dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."
-- from 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran