Deep Thought
The skeptic's guide to the New Age


8. My own subjective experiences

As I said in the introduction, I started looking into all this because I've had a couple of remarkable experiences in recent years, and I became convinced that there is more to reality than meets the eye. In this chapter I would like to discuss a few of those experiences. Where they involve other people, I'll be a little unspecific about their identity, since I'm writing about this without having consulted them about it.
I am not trying to 'prove' anything with this. These are my experiences and, as I have pointed out the previous chapters, they are part of my subjective reality only. I'll try to describe them as well as I can.

The Human Energy Field

You might have heard about the human aura, the normally invisible field of 'life force' that is supposed to surround us all. It's also called the Human Energy Field, or HEF for short. Healers can work with it. But there is no 'hard' scientific evidence that a Human Energy Field really exists, and very little is known about its nature. (Kirlian photography seems to show a field of 'life force' around living tissue, but this effect may also be caused by other factors.)
I didn't know anything about the HEF when I had my first experience with it. I had heard it mentioned once, briefly, but that was all.
When I received a healing treatment for the first time, I was rather skeptical. I was suffering from a number of vague symptoms and a general feeling of illness at the time. A friend of mine told me what a healer had done for him, and I decided to give it a try and see what happened. Frankly, I expected to be disappointed, although I tried to keep an open mind. It would take some tough convincing to make me accept any of it as real.
So I called this healer and made an appointment with her. (She turned out to be a wonderful woman, and I think of her as a close friend by now.) At the time, I understood little about the treatment she gave me. It involved little physical contact: most of the time she would hold her hands about two to four inches from my body and move them around a lot. It was a very strange sensation; I can't really describe what it felt like. She also told me about various points on my body that I needed to massage twice a day. Was this going to benefit me?
I noticed the results of the treatment that same evening. I was amazed to discover that my breathing pattern changed and I was able to get more air into my lungs than before. Also, I noticed how my body (and especially my legs) felt much more sensitive. I could suddenly feel my own heartbeat, something I'd never felt before. I could feel the blood running through my veins, I felt how my body sank into the mattress when I was lying in my bed. I was able to relax more completely. I had more energy, and in the weeks that followed I grew healthier.
I had never felt anything like that, and I had never known that I missed it. All of this as a result of a treatment that barely involved touching the patient.
Yes, I know about the 'placebo effect', and I know what it can do to a patient that really believes that a treatment or medicine will cure him. But I also know its limits, and I don't believe that it explains all of this.

Later I looked into the theory behind a few aspects of auric healing. I learned a little about the human aura, and about how a healer may work with it to release energy blocks inside the body, or to diagnose problems in either the body or the mind. I didn't (and don't) understand all of it, but I found that almost everything that I read confirmed my own experiences.
I can now feel the aura that surrounds the human body. It's quite easy, really, but most people just never try it. I have also seen it a couple of times, but that's something I can't control yet. To me, it looks like a golden haze, sometimes swirling, or shimmering like the air above a candle flame.
Yes, I know about optical effects on light/dark borderlines, and I know about retinal aftereffects. I have also experienced these, and they look quite different.

I can't say that I completely understand the human aura. I can feel it. Sometimes I can see it. I have experienced what a healer can do with it. I also realize the complete lack of scientific evidence, but I am convinced that it's there.
I would like to know more about the nature of the Human Energy Field. To me, from an engineers point of view, it seems possible that it is an electromagnetic phenomenon. Our nervous system transmits and processes data through a combination of chemical reactions and electrical activity. Since this electrical activity should have a corresponding electromagnetic component, this might explain the human aura. However, in that case we should be able to prove the existence of such a field with measurements. I hope to be able to do some tests in a shielded room someday. I consider this a very interesting phenomenon, and I feel that we need to know more about it.

Clairvoyance and precognition

Clairvoyance is a rather elusive concept. I know of a few cases (all involving missing persons) that police officials are said to have solved with the aid of a clairvoyant. Quite a few research projects on paranormal phenomena have been conducted, but none of those have produced conclusive evidence that clairvoyance is a reliable or even reproduceable phenomenon.
I remember two occasions that convinced me that there might be something to clairvoyance. The first one was when a career opportunity was predicted to me. I was wondering at the time about whether or not to quit my job, and I discussed this with a friend. (I knew very little about clairvoyance at the time.) "Hold off the decision", she told me, "because a new opportunity will be offered to you, just under six months from now." I made a note in my appointment book at the predicted date, reasoning that it was excellent material for a 'wait and see' test. After a few weeks I forgot about it.
I was reminded of the prediction exactly 24 weeks later, when I wrote down an appointment in my agenda and found my note on the same page. At the appointment I was offered another job.
The second occasion was entirely different. I was in the middle of a relaxation exercise. It was the kind of exercise where you imagine yourself to be in a situation where you feel confident and relaxed. That didn't quite work for me. I had insufficient control over it, and what I imagined resulted only in stress and fear.
I said nothing about what I saw in my imagination, and I don't see how anyone could have known about it. But afterwards, a friend (the one who made the prediction I described above) explained to me not only why I saw what I did, but also what I had been seeing. She specifically mentioned details. Details that were the product of my own imagination, that existed only in my mind, and that I hadn't mentioned to anyone.

We all know how we can 'see' things by imagining them. Some people are more visually oriented than others, but we all know what it's like to 'see' something in our imagination. The first time I experienced possible clairvoyance, during a family visit, was much like that.
We were talking small talk over coffee. If I remember correctly, the subject was the housing shortage that followed World War II. My mother said that even schools were short on classroom space when she was a child, so that they sometimes had to use a nearby attic for a classroom.
As she mentioned this, I suddenly saw this attic in my mind. The picture was unusually clear and vivid, much more so than when I try to imagine something. (I'm not really a visually oriented person.) I saw the heavy, oak beams that held up the roof. I saw the sunlight slanting in through the dirty windows, the rough wooden floor, and the low, wooden benches that were standing in a square in a corner of the attic. I saw the spiral of stairs leading up to the attic, and the white iron rail that ran along the side. It was a flash that lasted perhaps a second or two, no more, but I could remember every detail of it.
When I asked my mother to describe the attic, her description matched what I had seen in every detail. Later we talked more (about the construction of the benches, for example, and about the exact location of the stairwell) and again every detail matched. (Although she could not remember what the rail along the stairs looked like, and what color it was.) It was an impressive, if somewhat scary, experience. Logic told me that this couldn't possibly happen, and yet it did.

There have been other occasions when I found that I knew things that I could not have known. Like the time when a friend of mine had lost a document, and I suddenly knew, without having been there, that it was on the floor under the bed. Or the time when an acquaintance mentioned a large copper vase that he had inherited from his parents. He didn't say what it looked like, but I suddenly 'saw' it in my mind, and when I made a drawing of it, he was surprised and asked me how I knew.

I wish I had an answer to that question, but I don't. This is something that I don't understand, and all I know is that I can't control it, let alone reproduce it.
I don't consider myself a clairvoyant. I can't even begin to understand what caused me to have these 'flashes' (for lack of a better word). But when they occurred, the clarity and accuracy of details was almost scary.
Yes, I know about suggestivity, and about how old memories can suddenly surface and be mistaken for new information. I know about the 'observer effect' and about misinterpretation. I know about cold reading (a technique to convince people that you know all about them, just by interpreting their body language). I have considered coincidence, and I realize that a few occasions when descriptions happened to be correct are not enough to prove anything.

Yet I haven't managed to convince myself that this is just coincidence, or that I'm fooling myself and that I'm looking for a link that isn't there. At the moment, I just don't know. I'll take things the way they come, and maybe one day I will understand what's going on. Until then, I am reluctant to draw a conclusion.

Increased awareness

There is much more. I have felt the energy given off by a psychic (a sensation very much like a powerful electrostatic charge). I have seen how several people in a group were asked to think of a random subject, and how they came up with identical subjects several times. I have measured the electrical resistance of the skin during treatment by a healer, and seen it vary wildly, far beyond the limits that I have ever measured before. I have experienced peculiar sequences of events that, in my opinion, deviate from what I accept as normal coincidence. (For example, on several occasions I was called by a number of people in a row, all unrelated, who gave me the same advice in almost identical words.) I also keep meeting people who report similar experiences, and describe identical effects that those experiences have on them. Their stories are remarkably similar.
There is much, much more. Perhaps as a result of this, I find that I'm looking at the world through different eyes. I see details that used to fade away in the background. I have noticed that the world feels different. When I stand close enough, I can feel the difference between a living tree and a dead one. When I encounter people, I can often feel their emotions (especially when they're strong) before they even have said a single word, or before I have even seen them. I have noticed that there is a different feeling of life to each single plant, animal, or person.
Lately I have noticed how the earth is teeming with life, and I can't understand that I have always overlooked the intricate details that I am seeing now.

Proof?

All of the above is anecdotal, and none of it proves anything. I don't even know how to reproduce any of it, so I'm not about to assume that I have found a general principle. The above is just my own subjective experience. But I feel that it should be possible to explain it, given enough data, and I will keep trying to find explanations.
I'm not looking specifically for a certain type of explanation. If you look hard enough for a rational explanation, you will surely find one. If you look hard enough for a mystical explanation, you can be equally sure that you will find one.
If there are two explanations for a phenomenon, both based on the same absence of hard data, it becomes largely a matter of taste which one you accept. That may be why skeptics and mystics have been fighting over the issue for years without any noticeable result.

Hypotheses

I do, of course, have a few hypotheses about Man and the universe. Who doesn't? Someone might believe that Man and the universe were created by God. Or that everything came into existence without reason or purpose, just as the result of a totally random and meaningless process of nature. We all have our ideas, equally unfounded and unproven, about the origin of Man and about the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything. I'm no exception.

So what do I think? I think it is quite possible that there are more than three dimensions of space, and that higher dimensions of space are inhabited by higher-dimensional creatures. It could very well be that we are in fact three-dimensional manifestations of higher-dimensional entities.
Suppose that's true. Suppose that we, as human beings, have 'extensions', so to speak, into a higher dimension. Suppose that we are able to communicate with each other through this higher dimension, without being conscious of that process on the physical (i.e. three-dimensional) level.
If that were true, it would explain a lot. It would explain clairvoyance, channeling, telepathy, prescience and a whole range of other paranormal phenomena that I haven't discussed here.

I think it could very well be possible that Man shares a collective consciousness (perhaps the 'collective unconscious' as suggested by Jung). Such a consciousness would exist outside our normal sphere of observation, and interact with us on a subconscious level. We don't know where an idea comes from, we can't explain a hunch. Suppose that there is indeed a collective consciousness, a gestalt, that interacts with us to provide this kind of information?

Personally, I do not believe that we appear out of nowhere when we are born, or disappear into nothing when we die. Have you ever taken a good look at a newborn baby? Have you ever compared two newborn babies? There is no such thing as a tabula rasa! People are not born empty. They are born as fully functional, if not fully grown, human beings. The 'blank slate' isn't blank at all. The first chapter of our life is already written upon it when we are born.
The human mind is more complex than anything else that we know. I can't conceive how something that complex could appear out of nothing, as the result of a random process, over and over again.
Suppose, instead, that we are and remain a part of this postulated collective consciousness? Suppose that we 'split off', so to speak, from this collective consciousness when we are born, and that we return to it when we die. I admit that it would not explain where consciousness came from in the first place. But to me this idea makes just as much sense as any other possible explanation that I have heard, and more sense than most.
And who knows... Suppose that such a collective consciousness exists. Suppose that it possesses the sum of human knowledge and experience. Suppose that it consists of all human minds in past, present and future.
Suppose that we have personified that consciousness and called it God.

Yes, I know. It's a lot of supposing, and it also gets rather mystical, which is quite unusual for me. I'll freely admit that I do not have one little bit of hard data to back up all those assumptions.
But then, do I need any? Because they're just what I have called them at the beginning of this chapter: my own subjective points of view. They're mine, they're personal, and they're no more (or less) valid than the points of view of anyone else.

Home

Contents copyright © 2004 F.W. van Wensveen - all rights reserved.